The Examples

I am one of those people who is always trying to better myself, learn something new or experience something new. So since I am in this state of "singleness" I really rely on the people around me, who are in various stages of relationship (dating, engaged, married, etc.) to be my examples. I have to say that there are all kinds of different relationships...some people are extremely happy, some are settled, some are co-existing...but I feel like I can learn from the wisdom and knowledge of those who have gone before me. And I am ever grateful for those who have given me relationship advice or told me something I don't know.

One of the biggest traps for women, especially Christian women, is that we have that "fairytale" mentality. That some strong, handsome guy on a white horse is going to rescue us from a tall tower and whisk us away to happily-ever-after. WRONG. It just doesn't happen that way. And we are first of all wrong for thinking this, but also wrong for passing this down to future generations of women.

I'm not saying that a relationship can't be great, or extraordinary, or blissful. But relationships in general, even friendships, take work. You've got to both be committed to the relationship or it's going to go downhill super fast. Yet I think we make the mistake that once a man wins our hearts and puts a ring on our finger, that it WILL be happily ever after.

And to that I say...

It ain't gonna happen.

So I like to hear the messy stories from other people. I honestly do. It gives me a big shot of reality, and sometimes it can be hard to swallow. But I appreciate it. When a person can be real that their marriage is faltering...or the beginning of their relationship was rocky, but they have come through and are stronger on the other side...or to say that some days they wake up and think "why I am with you??" This is so good for me...because if you know me at all, you know I have these little things called expectations...and that ain't good. So recognizing that there are no guarantees (the divorce rate is now higher amongst Christians than non-Christians??? What the what??) and no promises of happily ever after is definitely a good thing for me to see.

And for now, I'm beginning to hope for a guy that is committed to us as I am. That's all I'm asking for today.